Breaking: Yoga May Make You Vulnerable To Satanic Possession

Now, we're already well aware that thrift store clothing is basically a party bus for demons, but did you know that yoga is actually making you more vulnerable to invasion by Satan? Why, yes. According to prophet and homophobic scientist (his research shows that the gays are totally "icky" -- pew! Cooties! "Yuck!"), E.W. Jackson, the purpose of yogic meditation is "to empty oneself... [Satan] is happy to invade the empty vacuum of your soul and possess it. That is why people serve Satan without ...